Anger can be a useful emotion because it tells us when something is unfair or unjust.

We’re often told to hide our anger or to squash it down, but no emotion is a bad one, and we can’t turn them off.

Instead, we should see anger as motivation to try and address the unfairness we’re experiencing – but we need to do it in a productive way. So how do we deal with anger?

Although we all experience anger differently, it tends to follow the same general path. We start off calm, but then something triggers a feeling of anger in us and we become bothered. If we aren’t able to deal with that, it can escalate to anger and eventually can result in a pretty dramatic eruption.

So, to avoid an eruption, here’s how you can reprogramme your anger into something positive.

angry teenager, sitting on a dock, how to deal with anger

Reprogramming Your Anger

1. Recognise your trigger and how you’re feeling

Ask yourself questions

  • Am I angry or is it a different feeling?
  • What has caused it?

Then check your body for

  • Increased heart rate
  • Sweaty palms
  • Hot face
  • Clenched jaw

Check your mind for

  • Irritation
  • Erratic thoughts
  • Clouded thinking

Then check your behaviour

  • Are you acting as you would if you were calm?

2. Pause the escalation for a moment so you can reassess

  • Control your breathing 
  • Count to ten
  • Go for a walk
  • Put it in perspective: “will this matter tomorrow? next week? next year?”
angry cat, ditch the label

Want to find out more about why we get angry? Read this.

3. Change course by reacting to the problem in a different way

Slow it down

Give yourself and the other person time to explain your views. Pause the conversation if you need to.

Write it as a letter

Write a letter or email explaining how you feel

Focus on ‘I’

Change it from ‘you’ focused to ‘I’ focused. Instead of ‘You don’t care about me’, say ‘I miss spending time with you’

Let it go

Accept that sometimes things won’t change

4. Channel your excess energy into something that benefits you

  • Exercise
  • Write a journal
  • Get creative
  • Sing
  • Dance
  • Draw
  • Take it out on a cushion
  • Write a letter to your MP
  • Organise an assembly at school
  • Campaign for change
  • Run a fundraiser

For help and support, talk to our online community here.

Feeling sad is something that happens to all of us. Your football team loses, you fall out with a friend, or something much worse happens, and it can feel like a smile is a distant memory. But what is sadness, and what actually happens to us when we feel sad? 

What does serotonin do? 

So this tricky little neurotransmitter in our brains is what is responsible for us feeling sad, called serotonin. A neurotransmitter essentially carries signals around our brain that controls how we feel. So, serotonin’s job is to deliver emotions and carry messages about our mood, and it’s often labelled as the ‘feel good’ neurotransmitter. It also transmits signals which help wounds to heal, and which help our digestive system to function normally.

We all have an evolutionary response to stuff that happens with us, to fight, flight or freeze. Serotonin is responsible for the freeze response in humans.

So, this is why we get depression? 

There is a definite link between low serotonin levels and sadness and depression. But having less serotonin doesn’t always mean you get depression. The brains of teenagers typically have a little less serotonin than adults, which means it’s harder to process emotions, and which is probably why we all feel a bit crap when we’re teenagers. 

Why do we want to increase it? 

Even though it might seem like we don’t have a huge amount of control over what goes in our brains at times, increasing serotonin levels is important if we have a deficiency given its link to depression, anxiety and other mental health conditions. Doing things to naturally boost serotonin will boost our general mood and having good levels of serotonin also means we literally heal from wounds faster, so it’s basically a super power. 

It’s important to know though that being sad, or feeling the effects of depression, is not a sign of weakness. If you need to talk to someone, reach out to our community here for free confidential support and advice. 

How do we do it then? 

  • Exercise every day – it boosts serotonin in your brain and some studies have demonstrated that exercise is at least equally effective at increasing available serotonin as serotonin-enhancing medications
  • Get your gut healthy – Much of the serotonin in your body is produced in your gut 
  • Watch what you eat – Foods high in simple carbohydrates, such as pasta, potatoes, bread, pastries, pretzels, and popcorn, typically increase insulin levels and allow more tryptophan (the natural amino acid building block for serotonin) to enter the brain, where the brain cells can convert it to serotonin. 
  • Light – some research suggests that serotonin tends to be lower after winter and higher in summer and fall. Serotonin’s known impact on mood helps support a link between this finding and the occurrence of seasonal affective disorder and mental health concerns linked to the seasons.

Want to know more? Here’s some things you should definitely be reading right now!

What actually makes us happy? There are lots of things we think will make us happy, but that kind of happiness doesn’t seem to last very long most of the time. One of the reasons for this, is a brain feature called the Hedonic Treadmill. The Hedonic Treadmill is when we feel happy or sad for a time, but then return to feeling normal. So, even though we think earning lots of money and buying things will make us happy, we can’t buy happiness, and increasing happiness doesn’t necessarily come from working hard. 

For example, when you get a new phone it can make you feel really good. But it doesn’t take long before we get used to it, and eventually just take it for granted.

There are several hormones that are responsible for happiness, and these are endorphins, which are increased with exercise, serotonin, dopamine and oxytocin. 

Luckily, it’s easy to increase our general sense of happiness, by doing a few simple things…

5 Tricks to Being Happier

  1. Having meaningful connections to the people and the world around you
  2. Learning new things, and always challenging yourself to improve
  3. Living an active lifestyle and keeping physically active
  4. Taking notice of the good things going on in your life by keeping a gratitude journal at the end of every day
  5. Giving time, money and attention to other people

Happiness is a tricky thing, but doing these things every day, you will start to see your general feelings of happiness increase. 

Feel like you need to increase your self-esteem? Read this.

Do you feel like you need to feel happier? Maybe talk to someone? You can reach out to our support community here for confidential help and advice.

Why do we get angry? 

Take a moment to think about a time when you were really angry.

What was happening in your body? Maybe your face felt hot? Or your palms started sweating?

When we feel an emotion, it’s not just happening in our head – our whole body experiences it.

Our mind is constantly in communication with our body. Together, they are sharing information about whether we are safe, or in danger. If our mind senses a threat, it can start a stress response which you may have heard of…

It’s called Fight, Flight or Freeze.

As soon as our brain sense threat, it floods us with hormones to make us do one of three things:

  1. Fight the danger
  2. Flee (run away from) the danger
  3. Freeze on the spot, so we don’t draw attention to ourselves

If our brain decides we need to fight the threat, our heart rate increases and our blood pressure rises. This ensures that our muscles have a good blood supply.

Our muscles tense, our face flushes, and we speak more loudly – a way to intimidate the danger and alert it to the fact that we’re ready to fight.

In prehistoric times, this gave us the best chance of escaping from serious danger, and it has been our body’s natural response for the whole of human history.

How Do I Stop Myself From Getting Angry?

Stopping ourselves from getting angry can be a pretty difficult task, especially if we feel like the situation is asking for us to respond that way. But often, we can overreact to things, or what might be small appears larger, and we can get angry for little reason. It’s then what we do when we are angry that can have big consequences for us and those around us. 

Here are some super fast top tips to calm down: 

  • Pause, and breathe
  • Go for a walk or remove yourself from the situation
  • Take it out on a cushion if you feel you have to
  • Channel your energy into something constructive – do some exercise, write in a journal, do something creative that will help you take your mind off the situation

For more, read this toolkit on how to reprogramme your anger.

Am I good enough? 

Comparing ourselves to the people around us is totally normal. It can even be helpful, because it helps us work out who we are and what we’re good at. But unfortunately, we’re surrounded by unrealistic examples of what our lives ‘should’ be like, which is especially true on social media.

Social media has invented a new way for us to compare ourselves to other people. We see people posting about the best bits of their lives and we forget that they don’t share all the bad bits too.

This can all add up and make us feel like we’re not good enough and companies take advantage of this, making lots of money selling products to make us ‘look better’, ‘be stronger’, ‘fit in’… but, ya know, always stand out and be yourself as well.

But, did you know…?

It only takes two weeks to change your self-esteem. So even if you feel like you’re not good enough compared to the people around you, there are some simple steps that you can take to build up your confidence. Before you know it, you’ll stop comparing yourself to the people around you and start to embrace the fact that you are the best person out there at being you.

8 Things That Will Make You Feel More Secure In Yourself

Use your strengths

The VIA Character Strengths are 24 strengths that all of us have in different combinations, and each of us is strongest in different areas.

No-one can be good at everything and that’s OK. So instead of focusing on where we’re weakest, we should remember all the things we are great at!

The best way to boost your self-esteem is to find ways to use your natural strengths to help the people around us. It feels really rewarding and fulfilling to be the best person we can be.

Acknowledge your thoughts

When you find yourself thinking negatively about yourself, notice it and recognise what you’re doing, and what your brain is saying. Instead of trying to ignore the thoughts – say hi to them, and realise they’re there.

Pull the brakes

When you experience negative self-talk – literally say the word STOP out loud to yourself. This interrupts the negative stream of thought.

Flip the negatives

Reframe the negative thoughts so that they focus on the positive instead.

Find the full half of the glass.

Step away from social media

Take some time away from your social feeds, and give your comparing brain a rest.

Unfollow anyone who you compare against

When/if you do go back online, make sure you’re only following people who make you feel good.

Be your own best friend

Next time your negative voices kick in, reply as if you were talking to your best friend.

Affirmations

Tell yourself positive statements which challenge your negative beliefs.

Think of three negative things that you believe about yourself and then flip them around so that they become positive statements. These flipped beliefs are called affirmations.

If you can’t think of any negative beliefs, think of three things that you want for yourself, for example “I want to get a distinction in my piano exam”, and turn them into ‘I am’ statements: “I am going to get a distinction in my piano exam.’

Every time you brush your teeth, or when you get a spare moment, silently repeat the affirmations to yourself.

Need some tips on feeling happier? Check this out

We’ve all felt stressed before. Exams, money worries, family issues, friend drama. Whatever negatively impacts your life is sure to bring with it some stress. But what actually is it? And what does it actually do to us? 

Stress is a state of emotional tension that we experience when our brain thinks that we are under threat. It developed as a very useful feature which helped us to run away from predators, and other immediate dangers. When our brain senses that it’s under threat, it instructs our body to release several hormones, including one called cortisol.

The hormone cortisol has several key roles in preparing us for danger:

  • It affects our immune system, preparing us for injury
  • Makes us hyper aware of potential threats
  • Increases glucose levels in our blood, so that we have the energy to run
  • Suppresses our digestive system, because if we’re under threat we don’t need to be worrying about eating
  • Increases our blood pressure, so that we get blood to our muscles more quickly
  • Reduces our sensitivity to pain, in case we are injured.

All of these effects are very useful in short-term emergency situations

The problem now, is that our modern society is filled with lots of things that make our brain feel threatened, or under attack. These small things can add up, making us feel stressed

We are all unique, so each of us can tolerate a different level of stress before it gets overwhelming. Some people can “fill up” more quickly than others, meaning they get stressed more easily, and that’s OK.

Whatever your capacity, whether you’re a tiny teacup or a massive mug, even the small things can add up until they overflow. This can make us feel overwhelmed and out of control.

Think you can identify what a micro-stressor is? Read our case study and spot as many as you can

The good news is there are lots of ways we can reduce our cortisol levels, and show our brains that we are not under threat. The key thing is that dealing with stress requires an active response. 

CONNECT WITH NATURE

Whether it’s cycling through the woods, sitting on the beach, or hiking in the hills – being in nature automatically soothes our brain and helps us to relax.

If you can’t get outside, even listening to nature sounds can help you to de-stress.

OPEN UP

If you’re feeling stressed or overwhelmed, tell someone about it. You don’t have to carry stress by yourself – and sometimes just speaking about it can help us feel more in control. A problem shared is a problem halved.

SAVOUR THE MOMENT

Rather than focusing on the stressful times, we can unwind by focusing on the good moments in our lives. Next time something good happens to you, stop and really enjoy it – taking in all the details about what it feels like.

PUT IT IN PERSPECTIVE

If you find yourself feeling stressed about something, ask yourself – 

“How much will this matter tomorrow?”

“How much will this matter next week?”

“How much will this matter next year?”

WRITE A TO-DO LIST

Sometimes we can feel like we don’t have enough time in the day, and this can make us feel stressed. By writing a to-do list, or a schedule, we can allocate time to work, socialise and relax, giving us more balance and control.

THINK FLEXIBLY

Think of as many different solutions to the problem as you can, or look at it from as many points of view as you can. Challenge yourself, to see how many you can come up with.

Need help with getting into meditation? Read this

Got something on your mind? Go to our support community for free and confidential support.

So unless you have been living under a rock, it’s been pretty impossible to avoid Fortnite. The Epic Games smash hit quickly became pretty much the biggest thing on the internet, basically pulling more players than populations of entire countries, from all over the world. Well, it would appear the end game is coming now, because it just blew the F up. Literally. Epic blew it up last night and with that, the internet has once again gone into full meltdown. So, just in case you need something else to do that isn’t staring into the black hole that the game got sucked into (along with all your hopes and dreams amiright?), we bring you a list of the best reactions from across the internet.

1) Reddit is dying rn

Despite it probably being one of the best marketing ideas in history, fans on Reddit are in full meltdown, and most of them are pretty mad. Mostly because no one has any real idea what’s going to happen now. 

But as always, Reddit does not disappoint with it’s wild memes.





2) Here are some of the best reactions Twitter had to offer



Someone figured we would all return to the days of Clippy’s helpful hints from old school Windows computers. 


And the memes are going strong…






3) Even the news is covering it now

In a mad turn of events CBS News covered the Fortnite Blackout on the morning news. In the UK, it’s one of the most read stories on BBC News, and newspapers around the world are writing about it. So if someone ever tells you gaming doesn’t matter, they’re pretty clearly wrong.


4) Apex Legends had to weigh in

Competing games are jumping on the hype bandwagon by posting their own memes in response. Big time opponent Apex Legends joked they were responsible for the Blackout, inviting players to come and play away the black hole pain.


5) Everyone has gone full detective

Seriously. Some CSI stuff is going down on social media. Like, basically everyone is saying that Donald Mustard, who works at Epic, gave a huge hint as to how long we’re locked out for. Basically, he tweeted about the Eiffel Tower which is actually a key example of how long a black hole lasts. If this theory pans out, then the game will be back about 7pm tonight, so buckle up.

Not just that, but the hole has been spitting out numbers for the past 12 hours. Some eagle eyed fans decided to put these into Google Maps, and turns out they are coordinates that take you to the meme of all memes. 

6) And if you believe everything, then Epic Games is leakier than a bucket with a hole in the bottom 

There’s some serious controversy going down as to whether Ninja actually knows ANYTHING about Season 11 after he claimed to have been playing it before all the rest of y’all. He put out a tweet saying 250,000 likes would get you a hint, and that hint was literally a black screen as he whispered the word ‘tacos’. 

Other ‘leaks’ have been new characters, weaponry, even chunks of map. But, you can’t believe everything you read on the internet right? Plus, if it is all leaks, then Epic has got a pretty damn serious plumbing problem if you ask us.

7) And all the while, Fortnite be like…

Blackout. All tweets gone. Just that live stream there to taunt you to hell and back. 


That buffering symbol underneath just wants to watch the world burn. Here’s to Season 11, it’s going to be wild.

Stress is a feeling that we have all experienced to some extent or another, and it can sometimes be tempting to try and ignore it, or hope that it goes away.

Our lives are full of stress, even if we don’t realise it. Every day we experience micro doses of stress which can build up and make us feel overwhelmed and unhappy. These can be anything from missing a bus, to sleeping through your alarm. They are small, but they can seriously stress you out when you get a lot of them. Each micro dose of stress releases a hormone called Cortisol.

Can you spot all of the small microdoses of stress which Jay experiences in a normal morning?

Case Study – Jay

Jay’s alarm goes off, shocking him out of a peaceful dream. He snoozes it three times, and each time he is jolted awake again by the alarm. He checks his phone and scrolls through Instagram, noticing that one of his friends has posted some worrying statistics about climate change. Jay reposts the statistics, but gets no immediate likes.

His dad shouts up the stairs telling him he’s going to be late for school.

Jay searches around for his uniform in his messy bedroom, flinging through the piles of clothes on his floor, but he can’t find his tie anywhere. He knows if he turns up without it he will be in trouble with Ms Earl again.

There is traffic on the way to school, and Jay’s dad is shouting at the other drivers, telling them to hurry up and get out of the way.

When he finally arrives, Ms Earl immediately spots that Jay doesn’t have a tie, and gives him a detention for being late and for not having a tie.

In his science lesson, Mr Okoro asks Jay to read a paragraph out loud from the textbook, but Jay doesn’t know how to pronounce some of the words. He trips over the words, and his classmates laugh. Jay swears at them, and Mr Okoro immediately tells him off and gives him another detention. He keeps Jay behind after the lesson to explain that his behaviour was unacceptable, making Jay late for lunch.

By the time Jay gets to the canteen, there is a massive queue, and he has to wait in line behind a group of Year 7s, who are pushing each other and laughing. One bumps into Jay and laughs. Eventually, Jay gets to the front of the queue, only to find that they’ve sold out of pizza.

How many did you find?

Dealing with stress can feel overwhelming and usually requires an active response. For more information on how to deal with stress and micro stressors in your daily life, read this.

For us gaming folks, life can sometimes get a lil’ tricky. We’ve all experienced those controller/keyboard shattering moments, that make us wonder why we even bothered with gaming in the first place, and these are 14 of some of our favourites… or least favourite gamer problems that only a true gamer will understand.

1. Difficult missions 😡

You’re playing through a tough game and you’re getting killed by enemies repeatedly, even though it makes you want to throw your monitor out of the window…don’t. Take a break from playing, take a deep breath and go back to it later. Who knows? Maybe you might complete it after a break when you have more energy!

2. Corrupt save files 😩

There are few things more annoying than after literally MONTHS and MONTHS of failure, blood, sweat and tears you FINALLY complete the previously mentioned, tough game to find out your save is corrupted, wassup wid dat?

3. Non-gamers saying to gamers “gaming is a waste of time” 😑

Well, you know what, it’s fun, it’s a hobby and actually… for whatever reason you play, gamers should be allowed to do whatever they want, as long as they play nice. Gaming is entertaining and a huge stress reliever for many people, so get out of our grill.

4. When you get disturbed while playing 🚫

This happens to everyone – you’re happily playing an online match trying to get as many points or kills to get into first place, until SUDDENLY… you get asked to go shopping, have dinner, tidy your room… this can be ever so slightly annoying.

5. When you get banned because a player gives you hacked money 💰💰

Exactly what it says on the metaphorical tin. You’re just casually playing, then your account gets hacked with hacked money. WOW, you’re rich and now you’re banned. This is an actual thing that has happened to a lot of people.

6. When your insane kill streak is tragically ended by getting killed by an experienced player that only just joined the game! 😎

It’s super annoying when you’re doing so well in an online match when a professional [email protected]%&£ (player) swoops in and kills you, clearing ALL of your points.

7. When the game crashes 😤

WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN SO OFTEN? It’s incredibly frustrating when you’re enjoying your game… then it randomly decides to crash, and it always just happens to be right after finishing a near impossible task.

8. Bad optimisation by the game developers

It’s sucks when you really enjoy a game, but the performance is laggy with low frame rate, even though your computer is perfectly capable of running it without problems, thank you very much.

9. When a game gets abandoned by developers ⏰

This is a PSA to all game developers: If you do not plan on updating your games,  you better make them good cos I ain’t no hollaback girl. But seriously, you can start to get bored with the same content and you hear about promised updates…which never happen, even though you WAITED and WAITED so VERY patiently. Same rules apply for a rumoured game that gets abandoned before you’ve had a chance to play the beta.

10. When online servers go offline 🕖😠

We’ve all been there – you’re in the middle of a session and you get the message ‘Lost connection, leaving lobby’. Your heart sinks as you realise impending doom is upon you. You’re absolutely FINE as you realise that your three and a half hours of grinding have completely gone to waste…

11. When you buy an overpriced game that isn’t that good! 👎

Firstly, in our correct opinion, most games are overpriced however, it’s always a disappointment when you really like the look of a game, so you buy it and play it when *meh* it’s just not your cup of tea.

12. When players ask you to buy them a game repeatedly because they can’t afford it 💵💵

I mean, you feel for them but…when is this ever not annoying? Or to put it politely… LEAVE ME ALONE, YOU CAN’T HAVE MAH MONEY, THIS IS MAH MONEY GO AWAY!!

13. When other players use their microphone in games… 🎤

So they do have the right to say whatever they wish, BUT must they be so irritating? Some people literally only use their microphones for completely unnecessary sounds or just to be super annoying. They may have just forgotten, but yeah…still annoying. Sometimes you just want to game in peace.

Ultimate gamer problem #14. When one of your favourite nostalgic game discs is scratched 💿

A little nostalgia kick is cool, right? So at some point, we all want to replay our favourite childhood game(s). After HOURS of searching for that game, you finally come across it under a pile of socks and discarded receipts full of dust to find it has has a LOT of scratches that make it completely unplayable… gutted.

Thank you very much for reading, and always stay calm while gaming! If you can relate to any of these or have any more please feel free to let us know in Community or here for other gaming articles like this one. Have a great day! 😉

No one likes to lose. From screaming and stamping your feet when you are little kid to maybe getting a little bit too upset and the games controller magically somehow flying across the room by itself, losing can really bring out a weird and quite angry side of most of us. Plus, we can’t even keep track of how many ‘sore loser’ moments have caused a big family feud around the Monopoly board at Christmas time. So, we think it might finally be time to nip this bad behaviour in the bud and make sure you can lose as gracefully as Jonathan Van Ness is on ice skates. 

1) Don’t get angry or aggressive 

We know – this is easier said than done right? When you are feeling fired up, it seems like the only solution is to shout about it. Actually though, getting angry is more than likely going to end up losing you access to online games if your anger becomes something more toxic, such as swearing or getting aggressive to other players. If you’re playing sphere is away from the console, then it might end up losing you some playing buddies as well. 

Try a quick technique for dispelling that feeling of anger bubbling up – the Naam Yoga Hand Trick. Using your fingertips, apply pressure to the space between the knuckles of your index and middle fingers. This creates a sense of immediate relaxation by activating a nerve that loosens the area around your heart (don’t worry, it’s not as life-threatening as it sounds). Whilst you are doing it, breathe in through your nose for three seconds, and out for three seconds. If only the Incredible Hulk knew this one. 

 

2) Try not to get too upset

Sometimes, you just can’t help it. The sting of defeat quickly becomes that familiar feeling of stinging behind your eyes like when your brother beat you at Connect 4 for the first time when you were a kid. 

The important thing to remember is that it is ok to feel upset about things, and often ignoring it will eventually make it worse. But, if this is part of a pattern of behaviour after losing every game you ever play even as you get older, there may be something that you need to have a think about addressing. 

When you start to feel like you feeling a bit overwhelmed by the sense of defeat, try a quick mindfulness technique. Breathing deeply and slowly, think about five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste around you.

Taking a moment to concentrate on something other than how upset or angry you are feeling and instead focus on your body should help to keep you calm and relaxed.

 

3) Don’t take it out on other players 

This a sure-fire way to lose any chance of playing again. Alienating other players by getting aggressive, rude or even harassing them could not only lose you friends, but it could also get you banned from playing long term – especially true if you are an online gamer or a tournament player in games like Magic the Gathering or Warhammer. 

If you are in an online game and you feel like another player has done you dirty through breaking the rules, or have been targeting you, report them. If it is Fortnite specifically, check out our guide to reporting in the game here

 

4) Don’t quit 

It can be super tempting when you are losing, to bow out of the game altogether.  Not only will this not solve anything, but it has the potential to ruin everyone else’s experience.

Instead of quitting, get back up and keep trying – the more you play any game, the better you will get. Use it as a learning opportunity, a chance to see what better players than you do and steal their skills for next time. You never know, when the next game rolls around, you could be one coming out on top because you stayed in the losing battle.

 

5) Remember – it’s only a game 

No matter if it’s a football match or FIFA, a battle royale in Tilted Towers or a battle for Mayfair in Monopoly, it is important to remember that it is only a game. Whilst yes, they are designed to be competitive, they are also designed to be fun.

If you find the game is stressing you out, take a step back from it and take a break from playing for a while. When you go back, you might find you enjoy it more, and you won’t have lost friends or respect like you might have done had you done some of the other stuff written above. We call that a win.

 

Check out our article on 6 Steps to Being a Better Gamerfor more ideas on how to improve your game play if online gaming is your thing. 

For more hilarious memes, inspirational quotes, cute pics and more, follow us on Instagram @ditchthelabel