Category: Confidence

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Confidence Mental Health Self-Help

5 Tips for Coping with Change When You Absolutely Hate It

Change can suck, right? Sometimes it feels like you are just getting into the swing of life, finding your rhythm and your tribe, and then something comes around that could change everything forever. We know that that feeling can be pretty scary, and that change is not something that everyone can deal with easily. That’s why we have put together a super quick guide to getting comfortable with it. 

1) Remember that change is natural

OK, so maybe this isn’t exactly what you want to hear, but change is always going to happen. It is a natural, normal and unavoidable part of being a human. We grow, we learn, we move around the planet. All of those things make staying in one place without changing pretty much impossible. Knowing that resisting change is fighting a losing battle might not seem particularly helpful right now, but coming to terms with that is a huge step towards looking at change as something positive. 

2) Think how far you’ve come already

The fact that you are where you are right now has come about through change, and it must be a pretty good place if you want to stay there. A good way to understand that change is part of life, and that it can lead to good things, is to map out your life so far. Think about where you were a year ago, five years ago, ten years ago. Chances are in that time, there has been a lot of changes in your life that didn’t end up so bad, loads that probably made your life pretty epic, if only for a while. 

3) Allow yourself to be not ok for a bit…  

If you need to freak out about it, give yourself the space and time to do so. Why not try setting a time limit on yourself, and say you are allowed to let your mind run away with itself about the change that’s coming for no more than 30 minutes. Then, afterwards, sit down and start to rationalise. This way, you give yourself the space to feel what you need to feel about it, but it doesn’t get out of hand. 

4) …Then face it head on 

You might have had your mini freak out about the changes that are coming, but now is the time to understand it and face it head on. Take a moment to calm down, clear your mind and ground yourself by trying to control your breathing. 

Sitting upright in a chair, place both feet flat on the floor and arm resting comfortably by your side or on your knees. Close your eyes, and let out a long breath. Then, feeling your chest rise, breathe in for five seconds through your nose. Hold it for one, and let it out for another four. Repeat this until you feel your thoughts begin to slow and you feel calmer.  

Now, have a think about the changes that are coming and keep breathing in slowly and deeply. Now you’ve had this chance to freak out and process it, try to carry on with your day as normal. There is no reason to have to deal with it straight away, or all at once. In fact, processing it a little at a time might help you understand it, and that it doesn’t necessarily have to be the scariest thing in the world. 

5) Change your thoughts

If you are still feeling anxious about changes that are around the corner, have a think about the possible outcomes of it, and how these might make your life better. So, if what is making your brain run wild is the prospect of moving out of home to go to uni, try thinking logically about it in a positive way. So;

‘I am worried about leaving my family’ could be ‘I get a chance to explore a new city’

‘I don’t want to leave my boyfriend/girlfriend/partner’ could be ‘I will get to meet lots of new people and it might make the relationship stronger’

‘I don’t know if I can handle the workload’ could be ‘I will be challenged, and I will be proud of what I do because of this’

We know that change can be unsettling. If you feel like you need to talk about what is going with you, you can reach out to the Ditch the Label Community here, and we will listen to you. 

Categories
Confidence Mental Health Relationships

Like Someone Who Doesn’t Like You Back? 7 Things You Need to Remember

Pretty much everyone in human history has liked someone who didn’t like them back. It’s the premise of every rom-com, loads of songs, even Shakespeare wrote about it. Even so, we know it can leave you feeling totally crap, and it can make you spiral.

That’s why we put together this list of the 7 most important things you need to remember when this happens. We know it feels rubbish now, but you got dis. Don’t worry. 

1) It’s not personal 

It might feel like it, but if they have told you they don’t like you that way, it is almost definitely not personal. After all, attraction is a chemical reaction. No one can control it; and it happens with whoever it happens with, regardless of how they look, or behave or what they say or the jokes they tell. Just because this time it wasn’t with you, it doesn’t mean that you are “unattractive”. It just means that this time, you guys wouldn’t be good together. And that’s OK. 

2) It’s not because of the way you look 

Seriously. We know this is above, but we cannot say this enough. You are who you are, and you should be proud of that. Not only that, but someone will come along who finds that incredibly hot, and that’s pretty amazing. Changing the way you look, dress or act is never going to work because it’s not who you are, and who you are is pretty f**king awesome. 

3) It doesn’t mean they are mean

It can be mad tempting to jump into a tirade of hate against someone who has rejected us. The thing is though, this isn’t always very fair. It’s not their fault that they don’t feel that way about you, in the same way it’s not your fault that you like them. Get your squad together so you have some people who lift you up, and try not to be too negative about it. You got dis. 

4) You have to respect their decision

So yeah, we also got super hopped up on rom-coms a few years ago. But holding a boombox outside someone’s window, leaving presents outside their house, or turning up where they usually hang out is not going to get them to change their mind. Rom-coms made us think it was all so romantic, but actually it’s just pretty creepy. Respect what they’ve said, and move on. For help moving on from someone, take a look at this list of things you can do. 

5) It doesn’t mean you can’t still hang out 

It might seem a bit like you can never spend time with them again, especially if they know you like them and they don’t feel the same way. But, there is no rule that says you guys can’t still hang out, have a good time and do all the stuff you usually do. As long as you think you can deal with it, and they feel comfortable, then get back to making nachos with ridiculous toppings on, watching trash TV or whatever it is that you usually do. 

6) It doesn’t mean you lose all your mutual friends too 

In the same way you guys can still be friends, what has gone down doesn’t mean in any way that you will lose your mutual friends. They are as much a part of your life as they are for the other person, and probably just want the best for the both of you. Try having a chat with one or two of them if they know the situation and see if they are OK with the whole deal. 

7) There will be someone else down the line

At the moment, it might really feel like you will never like anyone else ever again. How could you, when all you do is think about them, check your phone for their messages and scroll your story views for their name? But trust us, just as you were fine before they came along, you will be OK. In a week, a month, maybe a year, someone else will turn up in your life who makes you feel all the same things as this person does, and maybe this time, everything will work out. 

Need to talk to someone about your relationship? Feel lonely? You can speak to one of our trained mentors here, for confidential support. 

Categories
Bullying Confidence Cyberbullying Interview

‘It’s So Much Easier to Be Kind’ – Interview with Little Mix

We’ve partnered with Simple who’ve teamed up with Little Mix to take a stand against online hate and bullying, wipe away unkind words and empower everyone to #ChooseKindness. We caught up with Little Mix about the campaign and their experiences with online hate.

DTL: Obviously, you guys get a lot of crap in the press about what you wear and your message, have you found the same online? 

Perrie – ‘It’s always online. The majority of the stick that we get comes from social media, from people behind their computer screens, their phone screens. In the comments section of articles and stuff, it’s just all the time.’

DTL: Who’s got the best clapbacks to that kind of stuff?

Leigh-Anne – ‘Jade definitely! She always knows what to say!’

DTL: A lot of young people deal with online abuse every day – what would you say to them? 

Perrie – ‘It’s really hard because when people are being cruel online, it’s hard to deal with. When you are not that kind of person and someone is acting that way, you just don’t know why someone would want to say something nasty or cruel. You just have to stay confident in yourself, and maybe try to talk to someone close who will listen to you.’ 

DTL: Did you ever used to look at negative comments online about yourselves? 

Jade – ‘Oh yeah. I think we’ve all been guilty of looking at the comments, and I think at one point we used to obsess over it, and that’s obviously a really unhealthy way to live your life. It’s how you start to get more insecure about yourself, and over the years we’ve really learnt how to not let that negativity in, and how bad that was for us. It’s now kind of out of sight, out of mind – we try not to read it any more. It’s great that Instagram lets you block words and things you don’t want to see. It helps us surround ourselves with much more positive stuff.’ 

DTL: The photoshoot you guys did for ‘Strip’ deals with a lot of this – what would you say is the worst thing anyone has ever said to you that you remember?

Leigh Anne – ‘I think for me if anyone has ever said ‘you are not good enough’ or has questioned my ability. Like if you do a bum note and people comment on that, or you miss a dance move. It happens! But it does really stick in my mind because it’s just questioning if you are good at what you do.’

DTL: Recently, you guys have started to talk about your struggles with mental health – what made you want to start talking about it? 

Perrie – ‘I think it’s because we’re in a good place right now, and when you are in a good headspace, you can talk about these things a little easier. Hopefully, it will just help someone else out there who has gone through the same thing.’

DTL: Why is talking about it so important? How can we all start talking about it more? 

Jade – ‘I think the more you talk about it, the more everyone does, it starts to normalise it. It becomes a less taboo subject to talk about and in doing so, helps a lot of people. I think for a lot of time, mental health wasn’t really spoken about enough, and could escalate because no one spoke about it. 

Jesy – ‘Yeah and I think the more you talk about it, it’s like a weight being lifted off your shoulders. I think especially with social media, we have this huge platform which we want to use to talk about this kind of stuff and be positive. I guess we hope it would help combat some of the negativity online as well.’ 

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DTL: Do you think the stuff you’ve had to deal with online has contributed to this? 

Jade – ‘I think one of the main reasons I wanted to talk about it more is, you come out the other side of dealing with this stuff, and when you’re in a better place you want to. Also I think we are being listened to more, and people are starting to take notice and understand how much of an impact big artists can have, and we hope it can only help.’ 

DTL: What do you think can or should be done to deal with online abuse? How can we make the internet a more positive place? 

Perrie – ‘In real life, rather than online, if you see somebody in the street, you’d be more likely to compliment them than scream at them. We think a compliment goes a long way. We just believe in making people feel good about themselves. Instead of tearing somebody down and throwing negative stuff at them 24/7; pick them up and make them feel amazing! It’s the same online, reach out to people and let them know how great you think they are instead of being negative.’

Leigh Anne – ‘More needs to be done by other people to combat it too. Like there should be more moderation from platforms and stuff. And maybe bigger consequences for people that do it often, because the consequences for those that go through it can be huge, the biggest.’ 

Jade – ‘Yeah the effect that it has on people’s mental health can be massive, and there seems like there isn’t enough being done by everyone at the moment to stop it from happening. 

DTL: What would you say to someone who posts the negative stuff online? 

Jade – ‘The majority of the time, the people are spreading hate online have a lot of issues themselves in their personal lives. It takes a lot of energy to go out of your way to be awful to somebody else, so obviously the root of that is them feeling crap about themselves. So, they need to talk to someone, get some help, find a way of channelling all that energy into something positive. 

Jesy – ‘It’s so much easier to be kind’.

DTL: What do you think they can learn from the #choosekindness campaign?

Perrie – ‘I think, just be kind. That’s the vibe. I don’t think a troll really realises what impact they have on people when they say something nasty, even if it’s in passing for them. The impact of it really has to be understood, and the campaign will hopefully do that, and empower people to be kinder.’

DTL: In the spirit of #choosekindess, what’s the kindest thing anyone has ever done for you? 

Leigh-Anne – ‘The kindest thing, for me, would be the girls and how they are such a positive support system in my life. When I come to work, I know I have three friends to come to. That’s a really nice feeling.’

Watch how Little Mix wipe away unkind words and check out the video from the #ChooseKindness campaign below

We’ve teamed up with Simple who have teamed up with Little Mix to tackle online hate. For more information on #ChooseKindness, click here. 

Categories
Confidence Masculinity My Story Sexuality

Good Fellas: Gareth Thomas

It’s LGBT+ History Month! To celebrate, here’s something we wrote about the amazing LGBT+ role model for young men everywhere: rugby star Gareth Thomas.

We’ve already covered how much of a hero Gareth is before, but we decided now would be a better time than ever to introduce this man to you and explain exactly why he should be given a bloody knighthood already.

Firstly, Gareth Thomas is a rugby hall of famer. He represented Wales exactly one hundred times and is one of their top try scorers. Not many players get to play for their country but Gareth has managed to do so in Rugby Union, Rugby League and international Sevens as well. 

Aside from rugby, Gareth has just as much impact off the field as he does on it. In 2009, he came out as gay and said that “what I choose to do when I close the door at home has nothing to do with what I have achieved in rugby” which is pretty bang on, if you ask us. He became one of the first rugby players to do so. 

Whenever Gareth has revealed anything in his life to the public, it is always with the hope of making it easier for somebody else to do the same. When he came out, he wanted to make sure that future gay rugby players could just be seen as talented rugby players and that if his story made it easier for just one young lad in a similar position then it would all have been worth it. This desire to empower others is incredibly selfless and speaks volumes about the kind of man he is.

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He was a victim of a hate crime in 2018. What was truly amazing about the aftermath is that he didn’t want to press charges. The assaulter was a young man and Gareth requested that he apologise and learn to understand the true effect hate crime has on the victims. 

A few weekends ago, he did something truly incredible. Just shortly after revealing he is living with HIV in a heartbreaking video, he completed a gruelling 140-mile Ironman triathlon just to prove the idea we have of people living with HIV is outdated. In 2019, HIV and asthma requires about the same amount of medication. Thousands of people now live healthy lives with HIV. He has now pledged to work on breaking the stigma around it and empower those in the same position. In the video, Gareth says that he was being threatened by a tabloid who said they would out this secret. So, in true legendary fashion, he released a video himself to let the world know that this is his story to tell and nobody else’s. 

There’s no doubt that Gareth has had a rollercoaster of a ride so far. But his desire to prove that you are not defined by one individual thing along with his work to break down stigmas and empower people by owning his life and his story makes him a huge role model for us and many, many others. By being so selfless and sharing his life with total honesty, not only gives others a voice to speak out but shows that support is out there. 

Countless celebrities, role models, as well as thousands of the public have shown their support and admiration for the strength and bravery of Gareth for sharing his story. This is a man who is constantly breaking down barriers and is respected by everyone. Even England rugby fans will give the Welshman a big cheer. Wherever Gareth goes, he is completely respected by those inside and outside of the sporting industry. From Princes Harry and William, to his best rugby mates, to the LGBTQ+ community, Gareth is inspiring so many people and empowering them all to feel comfortable in their own skin. Gareth, we salute you and applaud you, you absolute hero. But mostly, we’re so thankful for the work you do to help make this world a kinder place to live. 

If you want support or need to speak to someone confidentially, you can join our community here.

For more inspiration and daily motivation, follow our Instagram @ditchthelabel.

Categories
Confidence Gender Identity

Why NikkieTutorials ‘coming out’ video is already the best thing about 2020

“Planet Earth is full of labels. And I’ve never been comfortable with labels”

It’s LGBT+ History Month, and only a few short weeks since Nikkie Tutorials broke the internet with her powerful, heartfelt and emotional video wherein she came out as transgender. We are celebrating all the amazing LGBT people of the world this month, so here is that incredible story for you.

Trans rights are human rights

First off, this. Trans rights are human rights. Nikkie mentions in her video that she was being blackmailed and so decided to take the narrative into her own hands, before she was ready. Let’s be clear on this – coming out should always be down to the person who wants to come out and them alone. It’s a basic right to be able to have some control over who knows what about you, and this was taken away from her. Despite this, she still did it with grace. 

Trans rights nevertheless are under attack the world over, and many trans people live with abuse and fear every day. We teamed up with our friends over at Brandwatch to take a look at transphobic abuse online, and you can read the full report here. 

F*** the haters, amiright? 

Transphobic abuse is something that trans people have to deal with every single day of their lives. Our research looked at 10,000,000 public social media posts over a three year period, 1,500,000 of which were put on a scale of transphobic abuse. That’s right, it happens so much that there is even a scale for it, going from ‘acts of trans bias’ all the way up to inciting trans genocide. That’s horrendous.

Nikkie’s brave coming out video showed us all just how hard it is for someone to come out, and how that’s even harder for someone who is being blackmailed. Like we said above, it’s the right of only the person who is coming out to control that narrative, and absolutely no one else. 

The support she is getting is giving us all the warm fuzzies

Possibly one of the absolute very best things about this though, is the support we see she is getting from every corner of the internet. Whilst there may be a few haters out there trying to shout her down, we are so happy to see everyone backing her until the end on this one. You deserve the love Nikkie, you are fire. 

Now one of the largest makeup channels in the world is owned by an openly transgender woman 

Visibility can be tough for a trans person, and can often be the last thing they want. But by providing the world with another strong, smart, powerful role model who just happens to be trans, hopefully the world will become more of a kinder place for trans people to exist. We certainly hope it will. 

“This feels liberating and freeing, but I, at the end of the day, am still Nikkie.”

Towards the end of the video, Nikkie states just how much this has been tearing her apart, but also how incredibly liberating it feels to be free of the weight of carrying it around. Coming out can be super difficult, but most people state it makes them feel so much better to be able to live life without the burden of a secret. The most important thing to remember though is that if you are struggling with this, you can come out to whoever you feel comfortable with, and at your own pace. Someone else’s story is not yours, and you get to decide when and to whom you come out. Need some help coming out as trans? We’ve got some top tips for you here. 

#IamMe

Just hours after the video dropped, the hashtag #IamMe was trending across social media. We are here for it. You are who you are, and that is pretty damn amazing. You are unique and individual, and with that comes so much power to be happy. You are who you are, and whatever you might be going through, you’ve got this. 

So Nikkie, we applaud you for everything you are doing. We stan a strong woman, and we are backing you all the way b. 

You can watch Nikkie’s video below. 

Feel like you need someone to talk to, but maybe can’t speak with those in your life yet? You can speak to one of our trained Digital Mentors here for confidential support.

Categories
Confidence Mental Health Self-Help

How to Embrace and Be Yourself – A Short Guide

Stage 1. Be honest with yourself

‘Just be yourself’ – such an overused phrase, right? And it doesn’t always feel like the easiest thing to do. If you feel unsure of your identity, maybe take some time by yourself to figure out what it is you truly like to do and how you like to dress, regardless of what fashion dictates or your friend’s tastes, or how you think others might perceive you because of these choices. Experiment; remember you don’t have to ‘commit’ to anything – over time your tastes may change! That’s fine too! Contemplate what makes you truly happy – what brings a smile to your face and excites you when you think about it? Identify what it is that you love and enjoy and embrace it.

Stage 2. Work on building your confidence levels and self-esteem

You need to work on yourself if you are lacking inner confidence. This takes time, but the rewards are worth it. Every time you think negatively about yourself, counter that thought with a positive one, or when you feel a negative thought coming on – list three things that you are appreciative of. Analyse your body language too – try and smile more often (even if it is forced at first) it will make you feel better (promise)! Look at your posture – hold that head high when you walk! Make sure when you talk to other people, you hold eye contact too. Believe in yourself. Make it part of your morning routine to compliment yourself when you see your reflection in the mirror. The more confident you are, the more likely you will feel comfortable showing other people the real you!

Stage 3. Express yourself

Now you have learned what it is that makes you happy, and you have built those confidence levels up, express yourself – every day! Whether it is how you dress, a hobby you enjoy, the music you like to listen to, the films you want to watch etc, do it! Own it! Enjoy it!

Stage 4. Try not to care what other people think of you

It might seem impossible to totally disregard other people’s opinions, but really if you think about it, what do other people’s opinions actually matter? If they want to comment, let them! You’ll be too happy enjoying life to notice, and the likelihood is, they are only making such remarks because deep down, they wish they had the confidence to express themselves as you do. Would people who are happy and secure in their own skin feel the need to act negatively towards others? No.

Stage 5. Don’t compare yourself to anyone else

Comparison really is the absolute thief of all happiness! Carry on doing what you are doing regardless of what paths those around you might be treading – each individual’s footprints are unique! Be strong, be kind and find your own way in life.

Stage 6. Surround yourself with people who make you feel good about yourself

It is time to ditch the people who don’t make you feel good about yourself. If you spend time with someone and you come away feeling down about yourself, I hate to break it to you, but they ain’t no friend. It’s time to evaluate who you give your precious time to – choose wisely! Be picky! You only have one life, and you want it filled with people who truly love and care for you!

Are you looking to build your confidence and overcome low self-esteem? Read our guide to boosting your confidence here.

Join our Community.

Categories
Confidence Mental Health Relationships

The Science of Hugging

Why we should all be hugging each other ❤️

Some people are huggers, some are handshakers. When you think about it, it’s a strange concept. Hugs vary from a quick bro hug to a warm embrace, but what’s going on behind the scenes when we cuddle our loved ones? Well, we found out for you…

The Love Hormone

The act of hugging releases a hormone called oxytocin from your brain into your bloodstream which plays a role in social bonding and love – helping you to form closer bonds with your hug companion. Oxytocin also produces antidepressant-like and pain-relieving effects so, in effect, hugging makes you happy, makes you love more and makes you hurt less.

The Happiness Hormone

Hugging releases serotonin, AKA the ‘happy hormone’. There are actually loads of hormones which make up happiness but serotonin is considered a key component. Someone who is depressed has lower levels of serotonin than someone who is not.

When you hug someone, this hormone is released giving the hugger and huggee feelings of significance, importance, wellbeing, happiness, euphoria and elation.

The Pleasure Hormone

Dopamine: the ‘pleasure hormone’ is also released mid-hug. You have probably heard of dopamine because it the chemical that is often stimulated in a person’s body during the abuse of addictive recreational & hallucinogenic drugs and using social media. Unlike this however, the natural occurrence of dopamine is good for our bodies and brains and is involved in almost every bodily function. It, like serotonin also plays a large part in the makeup of happiness.

In a study of young British men, almost 93% said that they had cuddled with another guy.

The Stress Hormone

It is reported that stress levels reduce significantly post-hug. That’s because hugging reduces levels of cortisol which is closely linked to stress and worry. In the same way, hugging someone you don’t want to hug is likely to increase your stress levels so this one works both ways!

Science-y things aside, there are loads of other benefits to hugging:

  • Helps to improve immune system
  • It’s good for the heart (in the literal sense, as well as the emotional sense 😍)
  • Lowers blood pressure
  • Helps to balance the nervous system
  • You are being a good friend by offering a hug to a pal in need
  • It’s a good indicator that someone is comfortable around you
  • It’s good for confidence and self-esteem

So, in short, hugging is good for your mental, physical and emotional well-being. If you’re already a hugger, keep doing what you’re doing, if not, then give it a go, you might be surprised by the results!

Categories
Appearance Bullying Confidence Digital Education

How to be Fearless – An interview with Ditch the Label CEO, Liam Hackett

It’s a brand new year and we think 2020 should be the year that everyone gets to be their most confident, comfortable, authentic selves. Our CEO Liam Hackett is helping everyone to do just that with the release of his new book ‘Fearless’. We caught up with him to find out all about the book. 

Ditch the Label: Hey Liam, congratulations on your new book! Tell us a bit about it.

 Thanks! So the book is all about finding the confidence to be your true authentic self. It covers all kinds of things, from the fear of being judged and not fitting in, to conquering your fears of being a failure. There’s some incredible colourful illustrations in it, as well as loads of expert quotes and tips and tricks to dealing with life as a young person today.

Basically, it’s there to help all young people break the labels that might be holding them back or keeping them in a box, smash through gender stereotypes, and overcome the fears that stop everyone from being unashamedly themselves. 

Ditch the Label: That sounds awesome! What made you want to write a book about this? 

When I was younger, I was badly bullied. That’s why Ditch the Label was born, to tackle bullying in all its forms to help anyone else going through it. What I went through really affected how I saw myself and my confidence was on the floor. One day, my Grandma asked me why I always walk with my head down. I told her it was because I wasn’t confident. She said something I will never forget which was “confidence is in all of us, but sometimes you have to fake it until you make it”. 

Through Ditch the Label, I have seen so many stories of young people battling with low self-esteem and a lack of confidence, and I remember exactly how that felt. I just want to help them become the confident versions of themselves that they can be.

Ditch the Label: What was it like writing a book?

It’s been an amazing experience. It really has been a long term dream of mine, so to have something actually out there is incredible and I still can’t quite believe it. It’s the product of years of hard work, so I’m really excited to have something on the shelves that can really help young people to feel good about themselves and be able to cope with the issues and emotions that so many of us navigate growing up. 

Ditch the Label: How important do you think it is for young people to read something like this?

I think it’s really important. Young people today are up against so much. At Ditch the Label, we’ve seen time and again how much issues such as being judged, coping with emotions and a fear of fitting in can have an impact on their mental health and general wellbeing. This book is designed to break everything down that could be holding them back and then leads them through how to tackle it step-by-step.

The aim is that by the end of the book, they will be equipped with all the tools they need to face the world exactly as they are – and be rightly proud of themselves. And it’s always there for the tough times, they can dip in and out of the book when they need a boost or further support. 

Ditch the Label: What’s your favourite bit? 

Haha – tough question! I’m not sure I can say any one bit of it is my favourite because the whole point is that different parts will help different people in different ways.

It’s basically there to help whenever anyone needs it, whether that be in everything it covers as a whole, or just one or two hints and tips on gaining confidence, being kinder, or expressing themselves. 

DTL: We can’t wait to read it! Is there anything else you want to tell us about it? 

I learned so much myself in writing this book; I had to face my own fears: Was it good enough? Would anyone want to publish it? Scholastic (my publisher) have been amazing through it all!

Finally, I really wish something like this was around when I was growing up. 

The book is available now from all good book shops including Amazon, Waterstones and WH Smith. You can support your local independent through Hive.co.uk #Fearless.

If you need support, join the Ditch the Label Community here. 

Categories
Appearance Confidence Mental Health Self-Help

10 Reasons Why ‘New Year, New You’ is Not the One

So the Christmas madness is over and thoughts are turning to the new year. We know most of the country is sad about how many mince pies they’ve eaten, and so a million gym memberships will be bought before January 2nd. Sometimes, the new year new you mindset can be a great way to reset old habits that made the last year harder for you, but it can also be a pretty toxic way to look at your life, when we all know our problems can’t be fixed overnight. So here’s some reasons why we don’t think ‘new year new you’ is all that great, and some other ways you can make a change for 2020. 

1) You don’t need a new year to make changes 

It’s one of those things that everyone feels; like a new year needs to be the time to become better people. Whether that’s in the way we look, the money we spend or the habits we try to give up, we all seem to think that as soon as the clock strikes midnight, we’re all going to have our reverse Cinderella moments and become our ideal selves. 

The thing is though, you can absolutely make these changes any time throughout the year. If there is something that is upsetting you about the way you are living your life right now, take a moment to really think about it and try to make a few changes throughout the year. Midnight on NYE is not a magic wand. 

2) Diet companies make a fortune off poor self image after the festive season 

Most people will use the ‘new year new you’ moment to make major changes to their diet and lifestyle, and trying to lose weight is, year on year, the most popular New Year’s resolution. Lots of people and companies will be bombarding the public with messages almost as soon as Christmas is over, designed to make you feel guilty for polishing off that tin of Quality Street with your Nan a few days ago, despite the whole run up to the festive season telling you to consume more. We know, it’s a confusing nightmare.

3) And you are so much more than how you feel about your body after winter 

But, you are SO much more than all of that. You are 360 degree person with interests and people that love you and things to do. For some awesome hints on how to improve your body image, check out this article on practical things you can do. Because you are a warrior with a lot going on, thinking about how you look every minute of every day can be completely exhausting.  

4) Trying to change everything overnight will never work 

Some of us will roll into the New Year with a list longer than the Dictionary of everything that we want to change about ourselves and our lives. But, trying to change everything about yourself will never work. For one thing, even if you do somehow manage to get a new haircut, new style, new attitude ad brand new personality in less than 24 hours, it will never be you. You are who you are, and trying to change all of it is never going to stick.

5) Remember, you are amazing for making it this far

If we are being constantly bombarded with stuff that basically says we are not quite good enough, it’s easy to start to believe it. At this time of year, though, it’s super important to remember that you have battled your way through the entirety of 2019 and have done amazingly well to get this far and be looking forward to doing it all again. 

6) So try making one little change if you feel like you need to 

We aren’t saying you should sack off new year’s resolutions altogether. If you feel like you need to make a change, then do it. Our best tricks are to keep it to one thing that you can actively track or plan for, and make it something that will bring you joy all year round. That way, you can really notice a positive difference which should make it stick.

7) Like keeping track of your mental health… 

So, if you want to make a change, make it something that’s going to be good for you. You could try tracking your mental health with a bullet journal or other way that works for you. You can find some great ideas for keeping track of your mental health here. 

8) Being a better friend… 

Maybe 2019 was the year you jumped head first into a relationship, moved around the country, or just really committed to nailing your exams. Whatever you did that means you might have drifted a little from your friends, spend 2020 making sure those connections are as strong as they ever have been. Suggest a New Year’s Day walk or chill time and get off on the right track. 

9) Or taking care of yourself more… 

2020 could be the year where you put yourself first for a change. Work in some self care time each week or plan something you can do every month that you’ve always wanted to try. Whatever it is, taking care of you might be exactly what you need 2020 to be about. 

10) Whatever you decide to do for 2020, you are already a warrior

No matter what you decide to do, if anything, this is going to be a great year. And whatever happens, if you need a bit of help, we’re always gonna have your back. <3 

Categories
Confidence Digital Identity Mental Health Sexuality

6 Inspirational Guys on Instagram You Should Follow Right Now

Happy International Men’s Day! This is a pretty important day for everyone everywhere to talk openly about the issues that face young men today. It can get a pretty bad rep, but at Ditch the Label, we love guys and we love International Men’s Day! So we thought we would celebrate it by bringing you six of the best most inspirational wonderful men you can follow on Instagram! 

1) Max Hovey @max_hovey

Max is a pretty incredible guy, and we aren’t just saying that because he is an awesome ambassador for Ditch the Label. He has been working to raise awareness for mental health and anxiety in guys for ages now, as well as for LGBT+ rights. We love Max, and as soon as you hit Follow, you will too.  

Instagram

2) Bobby Norris @bobbycnorris

After dealing with trolling on his social media, Bobby took a stand against online hate, and now he campaigns tirelessly to end the trend of online trolling. He does this whilst still having a full filming schedule and is an all round incredible guy. Follow for so much love. 

Instagram

3) Loyle Carner @loylecarner 

Real name Ben Coyle-Larner, this awesome artist and songwriter has had the ride of his life in the past few years. Not long after being nominated for the Mercury Music Prize in 2017, he dropped his album Not Waving, But Drowning. Not only is he a mind-blowing musician, but he also campaigns for mental health awareness in guys. You can read more about him from our Good Fellas series here.

Instagram

4) Stevie Blaine @bopo.boy

Stevie is one of our all time fave body positive instagrammers, not only because he has done a whole bunch of stuff for us. He has been blowing up the body positive space for ages now, and regularly posts awesome content that will give you all the heart feels. 

Instagram

5) Jake Graf @Jake_graf5

Jake is an awesome transgender rights campaigner, and has been fighting tirelessly for the protection of trans rights, the reducation of transphobic hate crimes and abuse and basically just been absolutely killing it. 

Instagram

6) Gaten Matarazzo @gatenm123

Gaten will need no intro to sci-fi fans all over the world as he is a household name from his time spent as the loveable teenager Dustin in Stranger Things. But Gaten does a load of work for charity too (including us, no biggie), and raises awareness for a whole bunch of good causes. We would make a joke about the Upside Down, but we can’t think of any. 

Instagram

In search of daily motivation, inspirational quotes or just some joy in your Instagram feed? Give us a follow @ditchthelabel