Tag: co-created

dating help
Categories
Masculinity Relationships

10 Things You Need to Know About Dating

We’ve all had our fair share of shoddy dates, here are 10 tips to help make dating a lil’ easier and full of genuine romance instead of embarrassment and awkward silences….💔💔💔

1. Everyone is nervous on a first date.

It doesn’t matter how old you are or how many dates you’ve been on, this one never goes away. Meeting someone for the first time is nerve wracking – it comes down to fear of the unknown. Try and see the nerves as excitement and enjoy the ride. Before anything, if you haven’t met offline before – make sure you meet in a public place.

2. Manners count.

Be kind, pay attention, listen to your date, don’t just talk about yourself it gets very boring very quickly.

3. Be yourself.

Whilst you might be rolling your eyes at this one because… doesn’t everyone say this? When faced with a date, it’s amazing how suddenly ‘being yourself’ doesn’t feel like an option but it’s better to be yourself now than in 6 months time once you’ve both invested loads of time into it! Pretending to be anyone is exhausting and pointless, it’s you they want to meet so be brave enough to let them, quirks n’ all 🙃

4. How people treat you is a reflection of how they feel about themselves.

Yup that’s right. How we treat other people is a reflection of how we really feel about ourselves. So if you are stood up or treated badly, it says everything about them and nothing about you.

5. Don’t be ‘that’ mate.

Remember: sisters before misters!  We all have that mate that starts dating someone new and then disappears into a world of soppy Instagram posts and cancelling on you last minute because they would rather ‘Netflix and chill’ with their new boo. Your friends were there before they came along and will be there whatever the outcome but only if you stay being a friend.

[full-width-figure image=”https://www.ditchthelabel.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/onadate.jpg”]

6. When people show you who they are, believe them the first time.

Most of us are guilty of giving second chances when the smartest thing would have been to walk away. When people show you who they are through their actions believe them the first time. Anyone can talk a good game but its actions that speak the loudest.

7. Rejections’ hard n’ all, but it’s not the end of the world.

It happens to all of us one way or another, welcome to life. Rejection and dating often go hand in hand, however it might come up it is not the end of the world. Your self-worth depends on how you treat yourself not how other people treat you.

8. Not everyone in a relationship is happy.

Shocker I know, but it’s true; being in a relationship isn’t a golden ticket to happiness. If you’re only looking for a hookup, you could end up hurting someone – so try and make your intentions clear.

9. If the shoe doesn’t fit, don’t force it.

This one is pretty universal, despite how much you might want something to work out… isn’t it sucky when that person you’ve fancied for ages turns out to be a bit of a bore! Ignoring all the signs that it is not the right one will only cause pain further down the line, for you and them. Same applies for relationships, friends, jobs, clothes… if you have to force it, it ain’t the one for you.

10. Appearance isn’t everything.

Oh but how our egos like to try and convince us that it is! Attraction happens on many different levels. If you always lead with the ego and not the heart – you will miss some amazing people along the way.

So there you go folks, 10 things that hopefully will make dating a lil easier. If you have any tips of your own to add, start a thread in community, we wanna hear your dating wisdom!

Now, go get em 😉

For more lolworthy dating related content, check out: 10 Things You Do When You Fancy Someone [but probably shouldn’t]

 

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Guys-don't-cry
Categories
Masculinity Mental Health

“Guys Don’t Cry” – The Myths & Truths

Masculinity Myth #1 – Guys don’t cry.

Our research shows that people associate masculine behaviours with strong and powerful characters. With 71% choosing ‘strong’ as a descriptor for masculinity, its no wonder guys think it’s not ok to cry! Some even think that crying a sign of weakness…

57% of American guys and 50% of British guys agreed that society sends the message, “men who talk about their worries, fears and problems shouldn’t get respect.” We’re here to set the record straight: your gender does not exclude you from emotion.

No one finds crying easy, fun or something to really look forward to. It sucks, it’s uncomfortable, it turns us into a snotty, blubbering mess. It puts most of us outside of our comfort zone and leaves us feeling exposed and vulnerable. So it seems bizarre that on top of all of that, we are then told that we categorically cannot and should not cry because we are guys!?!

Suicide is the biggest killer of young guys in the UK today.

Guys not only need to cry but their lives’ depend on being told its ok to cry. Learning how to process difficult emotions is critical to a person’s well-being, mental health and happiness. The effects of guys being told they can’t cry results in the suppression and denial of feelings, which can be catastrophic and far-reaching. Crying is a natural human emotion, think of it as a bodily function – kinda like peeing, but out of your eyes…

Here are some things you may not have known about crying:

Crying cleans your eyes 😢

Turns out crying is actually physically good for your eyes. The tears help to get rid of harmful toxins and bacteria that live there so next time you are having a bit of a sob – at least you know that your eyes are grateful for the clean.

Crying releases pain 😭

Crying is uncomfortable which is why so many of us rush to block the tears. The good news is that crying helps to release pain and is your body’s way of getting your attention to let you know that something is wrong. Crying just forces you to acknowledge it, otherwise, it can be all too easy to push it aside.

Crying makes you feel better 😰

There’s a science behind the reasons why crying can make us feel better. The tears we shed have been shown to cause the release of endorphins which contain something called Leucine Enkephalin, our body’s natural painkiller.

Crying is normal 😪

Crying is a completely natural response to our environment. If crying wasn’t a normal, biological process, then it wouldn’t happen. It’s the same as an uncontrolled response like sneezing!

Crying with Laughter 😂

There’s nothing better than laughing so hard you cry, we all have that one mate who cracks us up, even in the most awkward situations!

Finally, crying along with laughing and smiling is one of the oldest forms of communication. So, get out there and don’t be scared to go after all the feels you can feel!

😭😂😰😢😥😓😪😰

That being said, if you are depressed or need to talk about something, join our community to talk to a digital mentor – no judgement here, just a shoulder or two to cry on!

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body image for guys
Categories
Appearance Masculinity

Guys: 12 Things You Should Know About Your Body

There’s lots of talk about female body image but what about guys?

We are all bombarded with images of perfect bodies, be it on Instagram, Facebook, television, movies, magazines… you name it. These ridiculous standards apply for guys as well as girls these days. In fact, more guys than ever are unhappy with their bodies. It is a growing problem right now and is having lasting effects on our mental and emotional wellbeing…

Despite being satisfied with their attractiveness overall, most of the men surveyed in our research reported being unsatisfied with the shape and size of their muscles. When asked what they would change about themselves, almost half said ‘weight or body shape.’

On top of this, according to Ditch the Label research, lots of people have some funny ideas about what is and is not considered to be a manly body type. So, we’re gonna clear some things up so that we can rest easy in our bodies!

Here are 12 things that you might not have known about your body, tell your friends, bros, dads, uncles and grandpas…

What you need to know about your body:

1. Boys get eating disorders too.  25% of boys will experience an eating disorder such as Bulimia or Anorexia.

2. It’s ok for your partner to be taller than you. Loads of guys are concerned about their height, especially if their partner is taller than them.

3. It’s ok for your partner to be stronger than you too! How much you can bench press really isn’t a quality most people think about when looking for love!

4. Not all guys who are fit, are muscly. Fitness and being healthy doesn’t necessarily mean big muscles! Check out this article on The Link Between Masculinity and Health.

5. Different people like different people. Just because some people swoon over Tom Hardy, doesn’t mean we all have to look like him!

6. Weight has nothing to do with masculinity! Different people have different metabolisms and retain fat and muscle at varying rates.

7. Losing Hair. 40% of men will experience hair loss of varying degrees by the age of 35. It’s completely normal and shouldn’t be something to be ashamed of.

8. Having hair. Beards and chest hair are sometimes falsely associated with masculinity…

9. Most sexual partners do not care about the size of your junk! This is a big one for male insecurity (no pun intended 😂). If they like you, then they probably won’t care about the size of your equipment!

10. There are different male body types.

11. Men are edited/airbrushed too – pics of men in the media are not a reflection of reality, in the same way that pictures of women in the media are not realistic either! The super greased up, muscle man on the front cover of that magazine is not a true representation of most men’s bodies. You are not expected to look like that!

12. Other men worry about this stuff too. No matter how alone you feel when worrying about your height, weight or body shape, you’re not alone. Most people have insecurities about their bodies but no one is talking about it. Time to open up, join our community and start that conversation now!

If any of the topics in this article affect you, speak to one of our digital mentors here who can help you embrace the body you’re in! We think you’re great as you are! 😉

For related stuff check out:

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